10 Things Husbands should do with Their Wife
Although it is generally a mutual bond, in Islam, Husbands’ play a key part in a marriage as Allah has given them the authority to look after their spouse in the best of manners.
Allah says in the Quran: “Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend (on their spouse) from their wealth.” [4:34]
In addition we can also take note of the famous hadith when Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“The best among you is the best towards his wife, and I am the best of you to my Wives.” (Ibn Majah)
Being married has its ups and downs and a Husband and Wife will experience many journeys together. The main focus is to remain strong all throughout and hope to attain jannah together. A long lasting, successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
As time passed by and the relationship grows old, one may be used to having their spouse around or know that they will always be there for them no matter. In order to keep falling in love we need to find ways to maintain and rekindle the relationship.
Here are 10 practices a Husband needs to follow in order to maintain a healthy relationship with their wife:
1 – Maintain Appearance
It shouldn’t always be just down to the woman to dress and look nice, the man needs to make an effort to keep up his appearance. This will create a clean, positive atmosphere between the couple. In addition we know that the prophet (pbuh) taught us that ‘cleanliness is half of faith’. So in addition we will be following the sunnah and keeping our spouse pleased at the same time.
When you are newly married you tend to make more of an effort to impress your other half, and get there attention. However this slowly dies down after months or even years in some cases once you get used to each other being around. In many instances age catches up with you and you may not be as healthy as you were once upon a time, but try your best to maintain that figure, or appearance and stick to a healthy lifestyle.
2 – Be Appreciative
This is an easy one for Husbands to gain brownie points, but is easily missed. Sometimes showing a little gratitude can go a long way with our wives.
Your wives maybe at home all day doing ‘housework’ but not all men will appreciate how difficult it may be to maintain a household and especially when you have children. The chores are endless as they can be anything from cooking, washing, cleaning, ironing etc.
If the roles were reversed, most certainly a lot of men would struggle to keep up. So for that reason be appreciative of your wife. Give her a compliment once in a while and see how her face lights up.
Sometimes our wives just want to hear it from their husbands mouth that something she cooked was nice and not just assume it. Tell her ‘I really loved so and so dish’ and next time she will make extra effort to impress you.
3 – Improve Yourself
The messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977)
Improve your ways towards her and improve your relationship as a whole. Things like passionate occasions, supporting her, respecting her, surprising her, getting spruced up for her, give out your best compliment to satisfy her will all help the cause. It’s for your better half, yet remember Allah is watching you too.
He SWT made your pair with her, and you will be interrogated concerning her on the Day of Judgment. You will never lose any regard in ad libbing yourself for her somewhat you will pick up the trust and love of your life-accomplice.
4 – Smile
A smile is the best and simplest form of charity and this starts at home. Women go through a lot of tough times and sometimes keep all their issues within themselves, just giving them a simple smile will ease her mind. For a woman, their husband means the world to them and especially when they feel even a little bit of their affection they are satisfied.
We have come across the quote that: “Smile melts ice, installs confidence and heals wounds; it’s the key of sincere human relations.”
Abu Dhar narrated from the Prophet (pbuh) that he said – “Do not disdain a good deed, (no matter how small it may seem) even if it is your meeting with your brother with a cheerful face” (Sahih Muslim).
5 – Nickname
Many couples like to call each other names for fun (i.e. fatty), but why not actually give your wife an actual nickname that you can call her by? One must also take into account her feelings, so nothing too offensive. Whenever she will hear that name she will automatically think of you.
The prophet (pbuh) even gave our mother A’isha RA a nickname and in some narrations we are told that he called her ‘A’ish’ and ‘Humaira’ due to her complexion. We should take note from this teaching and try to adopt the lifestyle of the prophet (pbuh) as much as possible with our spouses.
In some cultures wives find it embarrassing (or to show respect) to address their husbands by their name or nickname when around others and you will hear things like ‘hello, are you listening, so and so’s dad etc’. If our prophet wasn’t ashamed to gives his wives nicknames all those years back, then there is no reason for us to be either.
6 – Be Thankful
A Women will always go out of their way to please their husbands and even sacrifice their own choices and pleasure to make him comfortable. So in return you should be thankful to them once in a while and compliment them as much as you can. It will not cost you anything extra to show a bit of appreciation, but will help energise your wife and encourage her to perform her normal duties with more effort and enthusiasm.
7 – Keep Your Spouse Happy
Happiness is always key to any successful marriage. So you should make as much effort as you can to keep her happy. Ask her if she needs anything and try to cater for her requirements. Ask for feedback from her about how she feels about you and if anything that you do upsets her, so you can try and improve your ways (if necessary).
8 – Take Care Of Her
Take care of her as much as you can, just like she takes care of you. It’s a two way thing. We are followers of the greatest person on earth (pbuh) and we should lead our life in the same manner as he did, and treat our wives in the same way.
9 – Fun Times
Think about when was the last time you actually spent some quality time with your wife? It is necessary to still have the mutual bond, no matter how old you marriage may be. Reminisce about your past and most memorable moments. Have jokes amongst yourselves and this can always help lighten the mood and relieve stress too. The Prophet (pbuh) use to play with A’isha (R.A) and his famous event of racing with her is a well known story.
10 – Leadership
Not only for your profession, it’s a good skill to have, but in the home it is very important. She is your queen so lead her in the right direction as much as you can. Allah has given the man the power to be the head of the household, so you should take this role and try to be the best as it.
Help each other attain Jannah, spend time with her to learn about your deen and find ways you can both improve your imaan. At the end of the day this world is only 2 days, so make the most of it while you can. Time is really of the essence now, so make every minute count.
Are you the Husband that Allah describes? Let’s try to implement the above into our lives In’Sha’Allah